Lord,
I need your support and help today. Please wrap you arms around me and give me strength. I know that you have seen me through good and bad. Today is the bad, again. Oh how I miss my little girls! **tear**I hope they are doing well with you. Is it so bad that I am being so selfish? I think back when we found out that we were haveing twins and I though ' God, there are so many people out there that cannot concieve. Why are you giving us two?!?!' There were days when I woundered why you would do this to us. I am sorry I doubted your plan. I now see that you gave us those two girls because we had twice the love to give to our baby. We so wanted a baby and we were just bursting with love to give, more than enough love for two!
But now they are gone to heaven with you, and again I wonder 'You blessed us with these little girls and then you took them away. Why would you want such an aweful thing to happen?' I am sorry Lord, but I am still in that place. People say that they went to heaven so they wouldn't have to deal with the burdens that come with a life here on earth. I wanted to be their mom that helped them get through whatever burdens may have come their way. I wanted to put ponytails in their hair so they would match. I wanted to have family pictures done with all four of us in matching clothes! But no. You decided that they needed to be with you instead. I am sorry Lord but I just want them back. I want them back so badly.
Please take care of them and tell them that mommy and daddy will be with them eventually. Tell them that we miss them and we think about them ever hour! Amen.
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Some of my favorite blogs
About Me
- Kellie
- I started blogging in the spring of 2008 after the death of my twin baby girls, Leah and Maya. This is my journey after loosing them and the many other hardships that I have been through since.
Some powerful verses:
"Wait on the Lord...and He shall strengthen thine heart..." Psalm 27: 14
"Blessed are they that mour; for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5: 4
"God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." Revelation 21: 4
"Blessed are they that mour; for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5: 4
"God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes." Revelation 21: 4
Background
Do YOU know?
Do you know how hard it is
To hold two babies that don’t cry?
Do you know how hard it is
To tell those babies goodbye?
Do you know how hard it is
To look at an empty bed?
Knowing your children should be sleeping there
Resting their sleepy heads?
Do you know how hard it is
Feeling that your to blame?
And no matter what they tell you
You’ll always feel the shame
Do you know the heartache
Knowing their gone for good?
And feeling that you didn’t do
All the things you could
Do you know how hard it is
To hear that it’s Gods will?
Do you know the emptieness
When your children are bor still?
To hold two babies that don’t cry?
Do you know how hard it is
To tell those babies goodbye?
Do you know how hard it is
To look at an empty bed?
Knowing your children should be sleeping there
Resting their sleepy heads?
Do you know how hard it is
Feeling that your to blame?
And no matter what they tell you
You’ll always feel the shame
Do you know the heartache
Knowing their gone for good?
And feeling that you didn’t do
All the things you could
Do you know how hard it is
To hear that it’s Gods will?
Do you know the emptieness
When your children are bor still?
2 comments:
Oh Kellie, that was a beautiful prayer, I have said some very similar to that(besides the ponytail part!). Give it to God, He can take it! It is so hard to think of what could have been, but we just need to hold tight to the memories of them that we do have. Take care!
~Katie
Kellie,
I have asked God "WHY????" so many times. And not just about my granddaughters, but with so many other things that have happened in my life. Sometimes I find out and sometimes I don't. It can be very frustrating. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are going through, but please know I hurt too. I hurt because you are hurting and as your mom, I want to make it better. I love you and Mike so much and it hurts so bad to see you guys in such pain. And I hurt because I miss my granddaughters.
I pray for you and Mike everynight. And I pray for the girls as well. I know someday, we will all get to see them in heaven, but our selfish side wants to have them here with us right now. Remember that our time here on earth is just a blink of the eye compared to the time we will spend in heaven.
You will be a mommy some day and I know you and Mike will be awesome parents. You will get to make ponytails and have family pictures taken with matching outfits. Please don't give up hope! And know that Leah and Maya will always be my first granddaughters. They will live on in my prayers and my thoughts, just as they will in yours!
All my love! Mom
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