Going up...

Sorry I have not posted in a while. I have noticed that I usually post when I am having a bad day. That, in turn, gives all of you the impresion that life isn't getting any better and that I am still struggling pretty badly. Not ture. My life is a terribly long rollercoaster for me right now. I have my ups and downs, turns and bumps. The good news is that there have been more ups in the past month than before (hence why there are less postings). I am currently on my way up from falling. If that makes sense. I hate to say it but when I 'fall' or have a bad day, it's really bad. From no where, all my emotions come back up and it's very hard to describe. I just hurt inside, emotionally that is. I dunno. People always ask how I am doing still and I cannot describe it. The only way to truely understand how it feels to loose your children is to actually go through it and I would never wish that on anyone!!!!!!
I am trying to get my head focused on the positives and future (as always) and by doing that I changed the title and picture of my blog. I miss my girls and would love to introduce them to the world by having their pics and names in my title. I have to say, though, that this blog is more about my struggle and moving on with my life. Hence the change.
Please keep me, Mike, Leah, and Maya in your prayers. I would really appreciate it!