My thoughts for the day...

As I sit here at my computer, basking in the sun on this glorious day, I find myself being somewhat philisophical. So (as a disclaimer) I will be rambeling on about some stuff that has been running through my head for the past ohh,.... 6 months or so. I would like to remind you that I am only human. I pray to God every night to help me with these thoughts but that darn Satan keeps creeping back in every now and then.
My little girls were born sleeping. And then, a few months later I lost another baby in a misscarraige. That's my life. Unfortunatly, my little girls never got a chance to breath air. I was not able to hold them while the wiggled around or stretched. I had the horrifing experience of knowing that I was carrying two little girls in my tummy that had passed away some few days earlier. I had to go through labor and deliver them, knowing full well that they were already in heaven. Just thinking about it now brings back all the raw emotion of having to deliver my two little girls that were already sleeping.
I find myself comparing my circumstances to others that I have read or heard about. I noticed that I unintentionaly correct people in conversation on what happened to Leah and Maya or about anything else that has happened to me over the past 8 months. I am sorry. It was rude the way that I said it and my intentions were vicious. I just wish so badly that people would understand that we all do not grieve in the same way. We did not all have the same thing happen to us and that's the way God wants it. Some babies got to breath for a day or two, some just minutes, mine, ... none. No matter the situation we all lost our babies.
I would like to dedicate this post to all the mommies out there that had to let their babies go to heaven too early. All of our life situations are special and unique and, like I said befor, that's how God intended it to be (Whether we like it or not). We are all human and we all make mistakes and think things that we later regret. We just gotta keep the faith and know that God is taking good care of our babies until we get there to hold them again. God will help us get through this and He will take care of us as well.
Thanks for taking the time to read my rambelings. God Bless : )
~Kell